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Bruce Bialosky

When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a Democrat

While a young man I contemplated politics and decided that I would be a Republican. It was not a perfect fit, but I thought it was a better one for me than being a Democrat. After experiencing being a Republican and seeing how things work in our political system, I have decided when I grow up, I want to be a Democrat.

When you have the appearance of conflict of interest, you will not need to explain it, nor did you contemplate it. You can be the #2 person at the FBI, a position that must maintain unquestionable impartiality, while my wife runs for a partisan political office. Not only is she running, but she has substantial (immense) financial support from one of the closest political allies of someone who is running for the presidency. Or you can have an important and powerful elected position where every country in the world knows you. You can be appointed by the President to be point person to two countries and only two countries. Your son then ends up with lucrative financial arrangements with those two countries. You don’t even consider that a conflict exists nor suggest that there is a hint of impropriety because the appearance of a conflict of interest does not even cross your mind because you are a Democrat.

When you are under suspicion for the possibility that in America that your actions are perceived as hinting at corruption, you assert no laws were broken in other countries — as if that matters. Then you accuse your political opponents of breaking laws that they did not break for simply wanting to look at whether something might have been wrong. In fact, you then call for throwing the leader of your opposition out of office for asking your actions be investigated. You can do this because I am a Democrat.

Regularly you receive a new message to deliver which your allies and you repeat over and over and over again hoping the flood of repetition will somehow make it true. Your friends in the media will echo your comments repeatedly. You will say things like we have a manufactured crisis at our border, or that your opponents are stonewalling. You will repeat that your opponents are obstructing justice so many times that people believe it is possible. Then your colleagues and you will say frequently enough that there is a constitutional crisis in the hope that a crisis will actually occur that you can blame on your political opponents. You can do this because you are a Democrat.

You can start a non-profit foundation that circumvents the rules against taking political donations from foreign parties. No one will question why foreigners would contribute to a charity in the richest country in the world while they are not getting any tax benefit (a large reason your countrymen make contributions). You can then spend the money on personal political follies, hiring political cronies and spend little money on the stated purpose of the charity. When someone questions the operation of the foundation, mud is thrown on them to never explain the potential improprieties. You can do this because you are a Democrat and you can.

In the middle of an investigation into your potential illegalities your husband has a private meeting with the Attorney General. This becomes public yet, the AG does not recuse herself from the investigation. When your opponent gets accused of wrongdoing his attorney general recuses himself for a meeting with a foreign official as part of his duties as a duly elected official. This is despite the fact when the meeting occurred no one would assume he would later be Attorney General. In fact, no one thought his candidate would win. Yet he steps aside, and your AG does not because you are a Democrat.

You can spend eight years as President when there were numerous instances of corruption. When you exit office, you tell the press how proud you are that there was no hint of scandal during your entire term. The groveling press does not question your statement. They don’t bring up the guns you gave to Mexican gangs or how you used the IRS to taunt and obstruct your political opposition. You can do this because you are a Democrat.

The President from your party negotiates a treaty that never is even submitted for U.S. Senate approval thus is not a legal agreement under our Constitution. Then he acts as if our country agreed to the treaty. His Republican successor says no deal, yet Democrats charge the Republican president with breaking the treaty. During debates to determine the new nominee for President, the Democrats chastise the current president for breaking the treaty despite their being four members of the Senate as part of the debate who never demanded a vote on the treaty. You can do this because you are a Democrat.

When your colleague does something wrong or inappropriate you say, “everybody does it.” When your political opponents do something wrong you are astonished and speak of the uniqueness of their actions. You can do this because you are a Democrat.
Even before your political opponents takes office, a questionable investigation of them is initiated that lasts nearly three years. You constantly harp about the injustice of the election. When it turns out your opponents are vindicated, you shrug and continue looking at your opponents’’ activities. When they want to look at how your bogus investigation started, in the ultimate act of chutzpah you say they are the ones who cannot ‘let go’ of the election. Yes, you can do this because you are a Democrat.

You can do all these things and more because you are a Democrat. The press not only does not question you, but they aid you in your endeavors. You can do magical things that Republicans cannot do.

That is why when I grow up, I want to be a Democrat.
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