The lead consultants for the Speaker’s Term Limits Weakening Initiative, which apparently won’t make the February ballot, have to write a memo to their client. We decided to draft one for them…
URGENT MEMORANDUM
To: Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez
From: Gale Kaufman and Matthew Dowd
RE: Failure to Save Your Career
Dear Fabian,
We are in the midst of a top-to-bottom review of our collective failure to place our carefully orchestrated end-run on term limits on the February ballot. We were assured that everything would be taken care of, but we both know that we are responsible to you. We were shocked, shocked that the percentage of signatures gathered would be low enough to force a manual count, and delay the measure past February.
For a period of time, we contemplated dipping into our considerable savings to refund you all of the money those special interest groups gave you to save your career — which now could only possibly save other politicans who term out in future years — not you or your currently termed-out colleagues.
Then we both realized, you are now a LAME DUCK. So we decided that really don’t need to give you back your money. We do feel bad for you, though we are more preoccupied with what this embarrassing turn of events will mean for our own political reputations.
So, maybe we’ll see you around the Capitol. But I guess not for too much longer.
P.S. Of course, you could always just give Mike Villines everything he wants on redistricting. But how many members of your caucus will sign off on THAT? Especially your friend Nancy Pelosi, since Villines insists on including U.S. House Districts in the plan.
[This is a fictitious letter, but we’re sure that one very similar to this is being drafted as we speak. Gayle, Matt, you have our permission to cut-and-paste!]