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Richard Rider

Boss Hogg from “Dukes of Hazzard” now runs Palm Springs

FLASH! Due to the coronavirus disaster, Palm Springs secretly hired the aged Boss Hogg from Hazzard County to refill the city coffers with loot.

This decadent desert city is heavily dependent on visitors for its tax revenue. With the plunge in city tax collections, Boss Hogg implemented a HUGE fine for violating any city diktat regarding the coronavirus. “Up to” $5,000 for the first offense. $10K and $25K maximums for the 2nd and 3rd offenses respectively.

But let’s not exaggerate the magnitude of this new city revenue source. The maximum fine won’t be levied on every law breaker.

Thanks to the Internet, a corrupt judge (all judges are totally dependent on government revenue) can run a quick credit check on the riffraff standing before him awaiting sentencing. The fine will be adjusted down to the maximum level the poor saps can pay — to avoid refilling the local jail after the county sheriff let most of the REAL criminals out because of the infection risks.

I’m moving Palm Springs further down my bucket list of places to vacation.

Just below Venezuela.