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Bruce Bialosky

Burying Granny in the Garden

There is ample evidence that those who believe the planet is coming to a calamitous ending soon are either cult members or have lost their minds and need significant psychotic drugs. Witness the recent acts by deranged individuals throwing soup on world renown art masterpieces and then gluing themselves to the adjacent wall. These are random delusional cranks, but there is more evidence that some duly elected officials have totally lost their minds over their perverse perception of action needed to save the planet.

The Legislature of California is unfortunately a year-round travesty that manages to delve into all areas of our lives because they can due to one-party control. This past session they passed over 1,150 bills of which Gallivanting Gavin signed 997 of them to enact into law. The thought that most California residents will not know of most of these and will likewise ignore the insidiousness of the massive changes seems to escape their understanding what is actually “good government.”

One of these new laws caught my attention as being particularly odious. It could only be passed by a group of people completely devoid of any religion other than their God of Climate Change (previously known as global warming).

Assembly Bill 351 was signed into law by Gallivanting Gavin. This equates human remains with coffee grinds and apple cores. Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia authored this bill requiring the Cemetery and Funeral Bureau, part of the Department of Consumer Affairs, to regulate and license what is being called by the bucolic term, “natural organic reduction” (NOR). Don’t worry, the government wonks are charged with creating standards for NOR.

Humans will have the option of their remains becoming compost to be blended in with the garden mulch.

Ms. Garcia wrote the bill because cremation creates massive amounts of carbon released into the air – she asserts 534 pounds per person. This amounts to 360 metric tons in her opinion. Of course, no one asked how you get 534 pounds of carbon from an average American who weighs 178 pounds.

Ms. Garcia defended the bill by stating “With climate change and sea-level rise as very real threats to our environment, this is an alternative method of final disposition that will not contribute emissions into our atmosphere. For each individual who chooses NOR over conventional burial or cremation, the process saves the equivalent of one metric ton of carbon from entering the environment.” Notice she has now upped the environmental benefit to a metric ton from 534 pounds. It is surprising she did not invoke polar bears.

Don’t think Ms. Garcia dreamt this up on her own. This was first enacted in Washington state in 2019 with Colorado following in 2021. Oregon and Vermont have followed. Notice a pattern here. All Left-wing states run almost exclusively by Democrats who all believe Armageddon is coming in 10 years — or is it 20 years or is it by the end of the century?

The process is involved and is estimated to cost between $4,000 and $5,500. You can bet that anyone who does not have a family making choices for them and are left for the state to decide will now be disposed of in this manner. No more Potter’s field; it is compost for you.

The International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association states this on their website: “Under these controlled conditions, the human body should pass through decomposition in about 4-6 weeks. The resulting ‘soil’ can be returned to the family, or to a conservation entity. The resulting soil will be very nutrient-rich and make excellent fertilizer.”

I am sure those who are left-wing are salivating over this. You know the same ones who are refusing to have children because “Who would want to bring a child into this world?” Here they can save the environment while helping to grow Brussels sprouts and Kale.

How much of the pitch is true is untold. If someone wants to become fertilizer in their future, I say go for it. Maybe some believe they will see Granny in their tulips. Focusing on grinding up people into mulch to save the environment is a little over the top for me.